Strange feeling that, when I thought that I would be more organised, more grounded and much more at ease. Sometimes it doesn't happen that way and in years gone by I would have made the situation worse by continually lamenting on what I had planned to do that never got done, and feeling like I am running frantically behind a train that I'll never catch. Of course, this only takes up more time, adds more anxiety and results in less contentment.
When my Mum was admitted to a high care nursing home due to her worsening dementia, it really made me re-evaluate what was worth spending my precious time and energy on. It encouraged me to look at my life differently, to prioritise and let go of expectations. It hasn't been an easy 2 1/2 years and it still isn't, with a long road ahead, but I would like to think I have learned a lot about myself in that time. I have found an inner strength and resilience I didn't know i had, and an ability to turn my sadness into action at times to be the physical carer that my Mum needs and the support my Dad needs. Life has come full circle and now it is the child caring for the parents, an experience that I am eternally grateful for.
So, what has all this got to do with creativity you ask?
For a long time I couldn't art the way I used to. Laden with grief and heartache, at times I couldn't even bring myself to put brush to paper, particularly in the first 6 months after my Mum was admitted.
How we deal with grief is different in every single person. But I do know from experience that time taken for self care is imperative. I cherish the precious time with family and friends and this is soul nourishing but for me personally, alone time is where I am able to take a deep breath, time is suspended for just a moment while I ground myself and come back to centre.
Do you make time for it regularly?
While this particular page is part of my Book of Days lesson, I will be uploading videos on my You Tube channel on my process thoughts on magazine art journaling in the near future